THE "WORKS"

She stopped in for a hairdo at our local beauty shop.

She had a picture of woman with lots of curls on top.

Now this is how I'd like to look when you get through with me

And I don't want to rush you, but I must be out by three.

I glanced up at the wall clock, the time was one fifteen.

Sure, we'll get you out by three, but only in your dreams.

I want it short, but not too short, and not too long, of course.

I tried to cut it once myself, but only made it worse.

Oh yes, I want some color too, you know the shade I mean--

Not too dark, but not too light, just somewhere in between.

And could I get a perm, dear? Though there's very little left.

I just turned away from her and pretended I was deaf.

I don't think we can do all this; I'm falling way behind.

Oh sure you can, at my other shops they do it all the time.

All her "other shops?" . . . How many is she using?

I'll bet her other shops don't find her so amusing.

I sent her off to be shampooed; I'd try to do my best.

She hollered out, just a minute dear, I have to change my dress.

I heard her say, be gentle now, my head is very tender.

(I couldn't help but think about a rake I'd like to lend her).

We toweled her hair till it was damp, then started in to cut

When suddenly she doubled up, complaining 'bout her gut.

I haven't eaten much today, is there any food around?

I looked for something she could eat, but our goodies were all gone.

I think I'll pray to Joseph, he's my very special Saint.

He's always helped me out before when I was feeling faint!

Oh brother, now I have an actress being rolled up in my station.

When I get through with this doll, they should give me a citation.

How about some pizza, we can eat it while you dry.

Well, hurry up and order it; I think I'm gonna die.

She never asked what time it was, or if I had a date.

I didn't have the courage to say the time was half past eight.

At last I had her all combed out and thought that I was through.

But there were still some other things she wanted me to do.

I really need a manicure--my nails are just a fright.

A pedicure would be nice, too, I hope you do it right.

Please, somebody wake me up and say it's just a dream.

I'm starting to get tremors and I think I'm gonna scream.

When I finally showed her out the door, I whispered an AMEN.

We got her out by three, alright, I mean three o'clock A.M.

By now I was exhausted and feeling slightly ill

When I realized with horror . . SHE FORGOT TO PAY HER BILL!